My life as Sharice Brookes
by Riv.Riv.03
Summary: My name is Sharice Brookes. I am 15 and have been an ED doctor for 4 years. My childhood is extremly complicated. My mum is Zoe Hanna. Read to find out about my school work and home life. Rated T as deals with though themes.
1. The morning rush

Chapter 1

 **I don't own any characters apart from Patsy Mrs Noakes John Megan and Jordyn. I own the plot line as well.**

 **In the voice of Sharice Brookes.**

My childhood was far from normal as can possibly be. The reason for that is that my mother died from abuse by my father and grandfather. I refused to live with my father so I lived with my doctor, Dr Zoe Hanna. If that was not wired enough I qualified as an emergency doctor when I was 12 and now work along side Zoe who I now call Mum. Even though she had to give me up after I qualified from medical school as she could not juggle me and work. Who can blame her really being clinical lead at one of the busiest EDs in the country. And don't get me started on school, I mean going from university to secondary school, it was a nightmare. As for science it's super easy, the biology teacher always took advantage of me being a MD by making me preform procedures in front of the class and explain what I was doing.

Well it all started on Monday morning, it was my 15th birthday. Over the weekend I got so fed up of my current foster parents arguing all the time, so I stayed at mum's (Zoe's) house for a few days. It was a normal morning, I went downstairs to find mum had laid out my presents which I was not expecting. There sat proudly a letter addressed to me.

 _"Dear my daring Sharice, well what can I say I took you under my wing all of eight years ago now and I failed at that terribly. I remember the day I told you about your true mother and you cried your eyes out and said "Zoe will you be my mum please?" And I said, "I will give it a go but I can't promise anything. Ok?"_

 _Connie wants you back at work on the night shift again but I told her it depends if you have enough energy after school. Let's face it this is the first time she has asked you to work some more shifts since you put her in her place about dealing with kids like you. So she must need the extra help and I can back her up on that. She also wants me to teach you how to fo a thoracotomy by yourself so get ready for some extra studding._

 _Everyone at Holby have been asking about you, how you are and if you're getting used to school or not? I told them that you have been staying at mine for the last few days till your foster family stop arguing about what room you are going to have to sleep in and whether to decorate it or not. Dixie left to be with Jess and Olivia. Also Sam is back from Afghanistan and working with Iain as a paramedic. She said she wanted to speak to you about the war thinks it will do her good, so I gave her your mobile number._

 _Remember it is parents evening on Wednesday and you need to explain to your teachers about me coming instead of your foster parents. I know I don't need to come but I was made to by social services as I am the one who knows the most about you. Ring up Dixie for me and talk to her for me, she needs to hear your voice and I think she might want you to meet Olivia._

 _I can't believe you are 15 today my little doctor. By the time you are my age you will be seen as the Charlie of emergency medicine. Hey you will be a consultant by the time you are 20! How about that? Well that's enough about work, let's talk about you. How are you holding up with all of the moving around from one place to another? You know when I gave you up I did not do it out of choice but at the best of your interests?_

 _Your new foster parents seem nice, John and Megan. I met John the other day he came into the ED to see me about your school work and why the head teacher kept ringing to see whether you would be in school. I told him that he did this as some days you worked in the hospital so he needs to inform Mr Murry that he is the main first aider. Also I told him how I attend parents evening and that you stay round mine from time to time. He said that that was understandable because you trusted me more than anyone else. He also told me that you don't stop talking about me so I feel honoured in that way. So thank you!_

 _Happy birthday my little angel. Have a nice day at school, and try to go and talk to John and Megan. Love you to pieces, my little Sharice. Love your mother. Xxx."_

I love her so much, have no idea what I would do without her. There she is in all her glory sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. "Have you opened your presents yet, love?" I ran into her arms, never wanting to let go again, not let her slip out of my sight. "No mum I haven't not yet. I was going to after work at 10 when we got back home. Is that alright?" I replied in her arms. "Yes that's fine but I just thought you might want one of them for work? That's all." As soon as she said that I knew what she got me. The only reason is that she probably got fed up of me steeling her's every work shift leaving her to go and find another one. Have you guessed it yet? Rushing into the living room I picked it up and unwrapped it carefully. Just what I thought it was, a stethoscope. A proper cardiology one usually about 160 quid and in blue, my favourite colour. Even Connie the cardiac surgeon transferred to the ED will be jealous of this. "Thanks, mum! Can I try it out on you? Please, pretty please?" I pleaded. "Well I don't know about that? Take it into school and try it out on your friends."I knew she would say that. Disappointing really. "Can't you just show me if anything is different from yours. At least help me set the clock right." I asked. "The clock is already right and show it to Connie she will tell you how it works as I am not the right person to ask."

 ** _Hope you like it so far sorry not that great on grammar. Please RR._**


	2. School nightmare

Chapter 2

I got some strange looks on the bus as I tried to work out how my new gadget worked. My best friend, Jordyn, thought it was hilarious how I was asking her to breathe in and out slowly. She got creeped out when I told her that I knew her parents smoke when she is about from listening to her chest. She told me that no one was supposed to know about that. By the time we got to school I had worked out how to use it bur did not have time to put it in my bag so ended up with it round my neck.

Well that was a huge mistake as I had biology first that day. I usually sit at the back and do the paperwork for my patients over the weekend until I am needed to do something. However instead of my normal morning routine I ended up teaching everyone how to do ABCDs ( Airway, Breathing, Circulation and Disability) tests. So I am now way behind on filing. This all lasted about 10 minuets before I noticed something was up with my teacher, Mrs Noakes. I don't know how she thought she would hide it from me as I swear sometimes she forgets that I am trained to recognise when something is not right.

Staring at her I nodded to the door. "I will be back in a minute. Just need to talk to Dr Brookes about something." She never called me Sharice, I think she forgets that I am a student. She got up out of her chair and walked over to the door, I followed. No one was in the corridor as everyone was in lesson. However I still offered to go somewhere more private but she refused. I brought my stethoscope out with me and asked if I could check her ABCDs, pulse and GCS. "Why are you asking to do those tests?" I told her I was concerned about her wellbeing and if I did not ask it would be negligence as a doctor. She reluctantly agreed. To get anywhere to this properly I had to kick the lab technician out as there was a medical bed in the prep room.

"Can you lay down please?" She did as I said so that put a 6 on her GCS which was a good start. GCS is a scale that measures consciousness. As I placed my birthday present on her chest I told her to breathe in and out slowly so I could listen carefully, I asked her to do this several times so I could examine both sides. Something caught me eye in a bad way that is. I asked her if she had any problems breathing lately and if so how long? Her lungs were not inflating evenly, the left side was drooping slightly. A pneumothorax was my first thought but could not be sure. It was only small if so. A pneumothorax is a punctured or collapsed lung, it can be very serious at times and requires a small operation to fix it.

I went back in the room and asked Jordyn to get my locker key and phone. We weren't allowed phones in school but I was the exception as I was usually on call so I had mine in my bag and on at all times. Somehow I know it was the right choice to put my medical bag in my locker even though it was not allowed, I told Jordyn to go to my locker and get the big red bag out of it. The only way to solve this problem was to do an emergency chest drain, so I called mum and explained the situation to her, I had to put her on loudspeaker as I was letting her explain to Mrs Noakes what I was about to do. Mum said she would send Dixie as she lived nerby. And also she would come with Sam as me and Iain did not get on very well. Time to prep, everything went through my head that I learnt at medical school. In the past I have done a chest drain before but I had mum standing by the side of me not speaking over the phone. There was no one to steady my hand from shaking all the time.

"You're fine Sharice, just do exactly what you do when I am there it is no different. I will be there in about 10 minuets but I will stay on the phone all the time. Ok?" Just her voice settled me enough to stop my hand from jerking around from time to time. As I made the first incision in the second intercostal space, heard running footsteps up the hallway, I knew it was Dixie. You could hear her from a mile away with her heavy feet. "In here Dix! Thank goodness you are here, mum's on the phone she will update you." I exclaimed to her.

"Hey Dixie this is Camilla Noakes, 27 years of age. Has had an emergency chest drain fitted by Dr Brookes after she collapsed in the corridor due to an undiagnosed lung puncture in the left side. Is now on 60% O2 and has had 200 mills of saline so far. Pulse 120 irregular but good volume throughout, BP 140 over 60, SATS 95% and GCS of 14 when Sharice talked to her, since deuterated to 5. Will need to be intubated before moving. If it was not for Sharice noticing something was up she would have collapsed in the class room. Me and Sam are on our way ETA about 1 minute just entering the school premises. What room are you in?" I missed mum's voice in a medical tone, it always calmed the whole room down to a running stream. As I was trying to intubate Mrs Noakes she walked in the now crowded room and smiled at me. This gave me strength as I asked Sam for a size 6 tube. Well that was the busiest morning of my life. So about the normal thing I guess I was not expecting a medical emergency to pop up.

Running into her arms she cradled me kissing my forehead telling me how well I did under pressure and that is why Connie wanted me to work the night shift again. She asked if I was coming back to Holby for the day. I told her I would come with her and Sam to say hello to the team but my shift technically doesn't start until 3pm. So I went into the class room and explained to everyone what had happened. I told them that she is stable and that me and mum were taking her to Holby. Mum popped her head in to say well done to the class for not panicking, which everyone looked confused at because they knew that I was a foster kid. Well that just gave me a lessons worth of explaining to do.

Patsy our house student support asked what was going on as we wheeled Mrs Noakes down the corridor. "I am fine with Zoe if you want to explain what is going on to Patsy, Sharice?" Although Sam may have said that in a kind and loving way as if I could choose. There was no point in trying to aruge with the ex~army general so I did as I was ordered to do. Telling Patsy to sit down I explained the situation and that I was going to be working the rest of the rest of the day at the hospital. Remembering the letter I read this morning I told her how mum that is Zoe would be attending parents evening on Wednesday not John and Megan. Thankfully she understood and organised cover for Mrs Noakes for the next week or so. Now to run off to the ambulance before Sam leaves me and trust me she will. She is not a light sort of person. How can you blame her the last time she let anyone into her heart they caused her to be so angry that she almost lost her job.


	3. Question race

Mum and I were in the back of the ambulance together and Sam and Dixie were in the front. Sam asked Dixie if she was coming back to the service or not? I always hoped she would rejoin the team as she could make anyone talk about anything, which made it easier for us doctors as we had some idea of the patient's personality to make it easier for us to explain things. Dixie said that she was thinking about it, that it all depends on if Olivia has recovered yet from her ordeal with Nicky (her mum's old partner). You see Olivia is like me but got off in some way better as she got to keep one of her parents.

Never really liked going in the back of the ambulance as Sam's driving always scares me she does not brake on the corners. Which is fine when you have a seat belt and are sitting down. However if you are in the back treating a patient then that is a different story.

As we entered Holby everyone surrounded me "Sharice! How are you? I heard you were staying at Dr Hanna's for the last few days." So many voices went round my head, with so many questions to ask. Such as when are you coming back to work? Have you met your new foster family yet? Are you moving in with Zoe? Far too many questions for me to consume, so I told them I was needed in HDC to deal with Mrs Noakes. I asked Noel the receptionist to look up her medical records for mum and me, I don't know how but Noel could get any record you wanted in under a minute.

Walking into HDC it was like a time bomb just went off, somethings you just never forget how if you don't run to get something then you are no use and have to get out to find someone else. My brain had warmed up before my body did and the only reason why I stayed in that room was because I went into automatic drive of running from drawer to drawer, fetching this and that and shouting out what everyone needed. We just got started when Mrs Connie Beauchamp (now clinical lead and the most scary one at that) came into the room and shouted "Dr Sharice Brookes would you come with me?" I waited for a few minutes to finish what I was doing. Well that was a stupid mistake since the next thing I heard was "Now! I haven't got all day! Dr Hanna can you take over from Dr Brookes?" Oh my God she is the most terrifying thing to ever live.


	4. Office Drama

She led me away to her office which still had mum's name on it in bold. The first thing that went through my head was that I must have done something wrong to end up being shouted at like that.

"Zoe told me it was your birthday today is that true? If so happy birthday from me and Grace." Well that was a first. Did she actually say happy birthday or am I just dreaming? "I asked you here because I need to update your record with your new address and contact details. I was going to fill it in with the information from the foster organisation. However Dr Hanna said that you would rather tell me in person. So let's start with your current living address."

That was a complicated and sensitive subject, as I had two but only one was allowed. Realistically, I need to discuss this with mum. You see I want to move in with her again but don't have the courage to approach this with John and Megan. Also there would have to be a trial for sole custody of me since I am still a child. I don't feel like I am half of the time. Then there's the matter if mum would take me in her home permanently or if she would struggle having me there all the time. Plus the foster organisation may not let me as mum gave me up before. Mrs Beauchamp may not let me and mum have time off at the same time as we are the best doctors she has. Maybe my idea was a big mistake, maybe it's not meant to be, maybe I am not meant to have a home. I am one of those people that don't get a family. All of the sudden everything turned black without any warning. The floor was cold, voices were a blur and lines appeared in my eyes. A voice shouted "Get Dr Hanna now and a trolley!"

Noel ran to HDC shouting "Zoe! Zoe! Zoe! Come quick!" Bursting, into the room he grabbed hold of mum and dragged her away from Charlie. "Noel calm down. What has happened?" Her voice was enough to calm the hulk down to a halt. "It's- it's- it's..." Noel could not get the words out of his mouth. "Noel just breathe. In and out, nice and slowly. That's it, right now tell me what has happened. Take your time." That woman could work miracles. "It's- it's Sharice! She collapsed in Mrs Beauchamp's office!" That was all that was needed to be said with in an instant she grabbed Charlie, kicked off her 400 heals and ran as if she was in the Olympics. In a second she was there shouting at different people telling them what to do. For a second everyone stood and stared at her. "Go! Go! Go! Now people!" That voice could carry over a war.


	5. Family

The next thing I knew is that I woke up with monitors attached to me, and I was lying in HDCU. Mum was doing paperwork beside me every now and then checking my vitals and then me. "Mum what happened?" I asked in a faint voice. I ran through all the possible scenarios in my head and stared at my vital readings. "Your blood pressure dropped significantly for an hour. I had to restart your heart to get it normal again. Has this ever happened before to your actual parents or you? If it has I need to know. You know that." I sat up to think for a moment, which was a hard question as I can't really remember my birth family. Softly, I asked her if she could just get Noel to look it up. It was the easy way out of talking about my family, what they did was unforgivable. One by one all of the ED staff came into check on me and if there was anything I needed.

Charlie Fairhead was the first to come in. He was a band 7 nurse that was the equivalent of an admiral on the navy and marine scale. Ever since I first came in with my birth family he and Tess had become surrogate grandparents to me, never flinched an eye lid to stand up for me along with mum to protect me. Now Charlie had been doing this job for most of his life and never questioned it, the patients, the doctors or the paramedics. He had see through the toughest years of Holby history, everyone knew him as the man to go to. "Hi Sharice are you okay? Your mum said you can still do your shift if you want to, however Mrs Beauchamp is ordering you to do it. She still wants to update your file by the way." In that moment I realised that my family was here in the hospital, they were the best family anyone could have, and I would not change it for a million quid. A tear ran down my face slowly, it just got passed my zygomatic before it was caught by his hand. He cradled me in his arms.

"I am not sad Charlie these are tears of joy. I never knew what it was like to have a family before I came here. I have never had someone stand up for me, protect me, love me before then. Now I have so many people who would die for me and love and care for me. What on earth did I do to deserve this Charlie? Nothing I have just caused this department trouble since I started to work here. That's not much of a thank you is it? I don't know how to be loved Charlie, I am used to just hiding in the shadows. Wishing that somebody, anyone who could help would stop and say 'Is something the matter?' But at the same time hoping no one did because I have so much to hide. Someone asked Charlie and I don't know what to do. Do I tell them and let them help? Or go on living in the shadows?"

Him just holding me made me feel safe. Unbeknown to us mum was standing in the corner the whole time. "It's all right Sharice you are safe now and all of us are here for you. Let them in and help."

"Mum did you hear all of that?" Zoe nodded wiping away the water from her face. "Charlie can I talk to mum for a moment? Cheers!"


	6. Fear in her eyes

**_Sorry I have not updated the story in a long while I have just been caught up in exam revision and family dramas._**

 ** _I going to introduce a new character who will have a strong bond with Sharice and do you think Sharice should move in with Zoe._**

 ** _Warning strong language._**

She came over to my bed side and took me in her arms, I buried my head in her chest and sobbed. She just held me and asked that question again. "Is anything the matter?" I had no way of answering in a calm manner so just let the tears flow onto her tightly fitted blue dress.

Our moment was interrupted by Linda Andrews. She like Dixie and Charlie had one of those faces. Me and Linda have always been good friends and worked well together as far as I am aware. "Sorry to intrude but Sam is requesting a doctor at an entrapment. She very clearly stated that it either had to be you or Sharice as it is a child and she is refusing to be touched by anyone." Before mum could reply I butted in with a reply and a request at the same time. "I will go if that is alright with you? I am on call so it would make sense as well as she might find it easier talking to me as I am closer to her age." Mum nodded but told me to tell Sam what happened so she could keep an eye on me and that I was to do nothing stupid. Well that just proved that my mum knows me well enough to see me diving into a car to save a little girl without safety wear.

I got driven to the indecent in a rapid response car. Once arived I told Sam and she agreed to keep a watch on me. She updated me on the situation. "There is a little girl in the lorry stuck behind the crates. She is refusing to be touched or spoken to and is in quite a lot of pain. Unfortunately we just received word that her mother died on route and her father fled the scene. We have no idea what age she is but definitely under 8. I will leave it to you then, shout when you are ready for the fire crew to cut her out." I told her I would let her know when the fire boys could start.

As I walked over to the lorry I hear a huge shout of pain. "What was that big shout for hey?" Asking her in a slightly high voice. She just kept kicking and screaming. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Obviously she was in discomfort so I started thinking of a way to clam her down. That's when I released how the wounds and bruises on her face and arms got there as they were not caused by the crash. She was like me. I asked that question the question that got me out. "Hi my name's Sharice. Is anything the matter?" She just broke down and started crying. It looked like she needed to cry from the very beginning. "Hey don't cry, everything is going to be fine. What's your name sweet heart?" I wrapped her up in my arms and signaled the fire boys to start cutting the roof of the lorry. She got her breath back before answering me. "My name is Natalia and I'm 6." She replied with her head burrowed into my neck.

Once the roof was off and the cranes could get in to move the crates as they were to heavy to push safely. Sam came over and introduced herself "Hi my name is Sam and I am a paramedic." Natalia just hid behind my back gripping on to my top. Sam knew that that was the moment to leave so she left my med bag on the side and went to get the trolley out of the ambulance.

"Well then if you are a whole 6 years old then you must be very brave." The little girl nodded her head vigorously. "However can you be slightly less brave for a minute and tell me where it hurts?" She pointed to her pelvis and the inside of her thighs. I knew that the father left the scene as soon as the paramedics arrived so he could have been a factor. For now though I gave her gas and air to suck on while we moved her to the ambulance.

Once in the ambulance I asked "Can I have a look? I will be really careful." Her little face just smiled at me to say okay. Very carefully I took off her beautiful dress engraved with swirling patterns in all different colours to light up the white backdrop. As a examined Natalia I noticed she had bruises at the top of her thighs leading to her vagina and deep cuts from nails being dug into her arms. _The fucking bastard had only gone and raped her. Then pissed the fuck off because he didn't have the balls to take responsibility of his dirty wrong doings._ I thought. "Did he touch you here?" She just stared at me not saying a word. He had her wrapped around his little finger with fear. "He is not going to hurt you again. I wouldn't let him touch you! Shall we go to the hospital and check you over properly and I will ask my mum if you can stay over for the night. How about that?" Natalia needed medical attention badly as she had been raped, beaten, crushed and had no family left. "Yes please I would love that but daddy wouldn't allow it!" Just as I thought to scared to say a word. I remembered when mum first spoke to me how afraid I was to tell her anything. When she stopped and not stared as so many people did to me. Now it was my turn to be the adult.


	7. Letting in

**_I am going to have Ziva and Abby from NCIS as the police officers as they are good with children but didn't put it as a crossover as they are only in a couple of chapters._**

 ** _Natalia's last name is French so pronounced John not Jean._**

 ** _I don't own Ziva or Abby_**

All the way to Holby Natalia wouldn't let go of my hand. Iain was driving this time, he had a more relaxed approach to the corners than Sam. However Natalia's vitals were dropping and fast. "Iain put your foot down! Her BP is sky high at 150/80 and pulse is tachycardic at 180. Resps 10. Sam we might have to intubate if this carries on but can hold out till Holby. Only if Iain puts his foot on the accelerator more! I will page mum to meet us." Natalia grabbed onto my arm in a semiconscious state, I knew what she ment. "Sorry Natalia but you are going to have to let people help. I know personally how hard it is to let someone in. My mum (well she is my adoptive mum really) is the one that asked me and she is really kind. If you don't want her to touch you she won't go near you, until you are ready. She has to be there as a registered foster parent approved by social services must be present. She is a doctor too." There was not a response.

"Hi baby girl what we got? Why did you page me you know I am up to my eyes in paperwork? There are like 5 other people you could have paged!" Mum always got angry when I paged her rather than somebody else. Hoping she would understand I updated her on the situation. "Mum this is Natalia Jean age 6. She has been involved in a lorry RTC being crushed between 2 crates." Natalia looked up and nodded to tell me it was okay to share the rest with mum. "Prior to which her father raped her and has abused her for a number of years. Her BP is 150/80. Pulse tachycardic at 180, resps were 10 but has improved to 20. SATs 95%, temp 40.5 oC. Suspected right tib and fib fracture and broken ribs. She has badly bruised thighs and face as well as deep lacerations to her arms caused by nails. She has had entonox and 5 of nurofen. As well as 60 mills of half normal saline D5." She knew exactly why I called her. She looked me in the eye and mouthed ' _Well done and thank you. Do you want me over in the corner?'_ I told her that was okay and I would ask her over if I needed her help. She was always there for me no matter what happened.

To start I hooked Natalia up to an ECG, while mum introduced herself. "Hi Natalia sweetheart I'm Zoe. Sharice here is my adoptive daughter. Can I have a feel of your tummy please? If you aren't comfortable with it that's fine we can just talk." She stared at mum wondering whether to accept or not. "Can we just talk please Zoe?" Mum nodded as I shouted what I needed. It was lovely to see that they were getting on, I think mum's experience with me helped her. If it was Connie who had come to the ambulance she would not have a chance of touching her. "I need ABCDs, primary survey, bloods FBC U and E, liter of saline with 0.1mg/kg of morphine, portable x-ray,ultrasound and a gown. Also can someone please notify police and tell them to send Officers Ziva David and Abby Sciuto? Can another person ask Noel to look up Natalia's records her last name is French so spelt J E A N? Cheers guys." Everyone ran around me but knew not to do anything with the little girl. That was mine and mum's job.

While I was doing the bloods, my ears overheard Natalia's and mum's conversation. They were talking about how that she would need somewhere to stay. "Zoe?" Mum nodded, "Why do I need somewhere to stay?" She said it with her head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. I could see what was going through mum's head. _How do I tell her? Like I did Sharice? No damn it Zoe. I have to make it sound less ugly than it actually is. You can do this Zoe, everyone says you're great with children like this. Sharice, Tanasha, Tanina and Saffie. You've got this Zoe!_ How was she going to break this to Natalia? Will it break both of them?

 ** _Left it on a bit of a cliffhanger. I am thinking Zoe will do the same that she did with Sharice_. **


	8. Sharing of Love

**_The medical things might be a bit out but tried my best._**

 ** _Hope you like it. Next chapter is going to be Tess and Sharice._**

We were going to do it together! Ready? 1 2 3. In unison, "Natalia daring your..." We both stared at each other. It broke the little girl, she was engulfed in our arms. "Natalia sweetheart do you want to stay with me and Mum?" This was my way of secretly asking Mum if I could move back in. I missed climbing into Mum's bed when I was down and out. The smell of coco chanel and cigarettes was the first thing I woke up to after my comma. That and Mum, Ruth and Charlie in a big group hug.

"Yes please but only if that's alright with Zoe? Zoe can you look at my tummy it really hurts?" The concern shot into mine and Mum's eyes. What if? My thoughts were distracted by the sound of her voice. "Of course I can! Sharice can you get me the ultrasound and some gloves? Then go and get cleaned up. Me and Natalia will be fine. Won't we?" I hadn't realised that I had cut my self on the eye until mum said. "Yeah sure here you go." Handing her the equipment. "Will be back in a minute. I will send Gramps in. Mum do you know where Gran is, I can't clean my face while looking in the mirror?" It was true I was horrible at looking in the mirror it do anything even my hair. She told me she was in cubicles so off I went.

"Warning my hands are cold." Was the first thing that Charlie heard on his way in. "I thought you always had cold hands ever since I met you? So how are we then I haven't talked to you probably in ages. Usually our conversations consist of information about patients." They smiled at each other. All the staff said that they had a bond that could not be broken by any force. Family in my world comes in many different shapes and sizes. Not all blood related, actually none of them where. Zoe was Mum, Charlie was Gramps, Tess was Gran, Linda and Dixie were Auntie and Sam was sister. I had made my own family in the people around me. Now this little girl Natalia could experience love as well.

"Natalia this is Charlie. You can call him Gramps if it makes you more comfy. Can you tell me where it hurts?" Mum placed both of her hands on the girl's stomach and pressed down on the area that she pointed to. Then that look. "Ouch! That really really hurts! Zoe stop!" The little girl cried. Mum's hands retreated away and she sat thinking. She needed to examine her stomach as she thought there was free fluid and definitely bruising. Then she had an idea. "Natalia on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst. How much does it hurt?" The girl lay thinking for a while before answering, "Like 8 to much to touch." Mum's plan had a slight flaw but it killed 2 birds with one stone. "Ok Charlie can I have 15mg of ketamine please and get ready to intubate. Right sweetheart I am going to put you to sleep so I can have a look at your tummy and leg without hurting you. However I need to control your breathing for a while. I won't do it until Sharice gets here though. Is that okay?" The little girl nodded and smiled.


	9. Race Agaist the Past

"Gran, Gran?" I shouted walking around cubicles to try and find her. She always somehow managed to be unfound when she needed to be found. "Are you alright Sharice? Are you looking for Tess?" I indicated that that was true with a nod in Noel's direction. "She is in her office. Also you got a bit of something..." He pointed to my frontal bone just above my eye. Putting my hand up to feel I released that is was bleeding significantly.

I knocked on the door, "Gran can I come in?" There were footsteps heading to the plank of wood that displayed both Gran and Gramps names. "Of cause you can Sharice!" I opened the door and immediately was met by a hug. Tess put her hand up to my cut stroked it gently. "What on earth happened here? Come on cubicles now! Let's get you sorted out." She saw me out the door and held me all the way down the corridor.

Putting on gloves she placed her soft hand on my head. "Right I will patch you up then send you for a head CT. Before getting a doctor to discharge you." I dread those CT scan things. All the swirling reminds me of when father chucked my head in the washing machine. "Gran I can't go into a CT scan I am claustrophobic. Also could Sam discharge me? I know she's not an ED doctor anymore but she has all her qualifications still and is on the system as a locom. Please!" She looked at me with eyes that said _I will see what I can do_. "Well you can definitely tell you are Zoe's daughter. Stubborn. You know on her first shift here she came in with Jeff and Dixie..." A tear slipped down my face at the mention of Uncle Jeff, she carried on. " After getting lost. She ended up helping a gun shot victim. She came in resus with fire in her eyes and claimed it and quote ' _my resus!'_ She still claims it as her's now but has a title to back it up. Dr Zoe Hanna trauma lead at Holby City ED. There you go all done. I think your mum is paging you?" I stood up and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Cheers Gran love you."

Looking at my pager it said resus the territory of the swan. Graceful and sweet with love but yet can be deadly. On my way I saw a middle aged man at the front desk talking to Noel. "Is my daughter and wife here they got brought in after an accident?" The man sounded angry. Noel kept his cool as always. "Can I have your name please Sir? And I will get someone to come and talk to you." I studied the face of the stranger for a while, then it hit me the same angle on the zygomatic arch. "The name's Jean." That's all we needed, not now out of all times. Before I could return to the safety of resus my name was called. Why me? "Dr Brookes Mr Jean here is looking for his family. Do you happen to know where they are?" Well all I want at this moment in time is no more reminders of my start to life. "Yeah hang on a sec. Just need to go and see what Dr Hanna wants. Sir if you would like to go to the relatives room and someone will be there in a minute to explain the situation?" He huffed and stomped away in the direction of the relatives room.

Mr Jean reminded me so much of my father (the wretched monster). The constant resistance of screaming because if you did you just got it more. For example at school the other day some boy started a fight in the play ground. One of the year 7's was stupid enough to get involved, he took a couple of punches but then started to bleed in the mouth and screaming with pain. I stepped in trying it stop the incident however that did not go to plan. "Let's see how many punches it takes to make little doctor perfect cry?" One of the spectators encouraged. I came out with the sound of "How come you didn't break. Didn't want the embarrassment of mummy coming to pick you up. Oh she can't because your dad killed her." A cauldron of emotion just boiled over in my head. "Do you think I stood in front of Fin an said. 'Go on hit me!' For 8 years. Watched Abbey get the crap beaten out of her. Screaming my head off in hope that someone would come before the next blow which got harder every time. Do you think I wanted to be the kid that everyone laughed at because I was all bruised, skinny and winced every time I moved? Do you think I wanted to live in the constant fear that me or Abbey could be beaten to death in the evening? People think that is painful to hear the screaming but it's the gap between the screams. Wondering if they are still alive or not sitting there in fear that she could be dead, the seconds are hours. Do you think I asked for any of that?" My sudden out burst shocked everyone, I sat there as they all dispersed.

Coming out of my day dream I strolled the resus. How will I explain this to mum? Was I to face him or not? What did mum want me for anyway?


End file.
